I've raised venture capital. I've run a department with a $10 million budget. I've written or co-written more than 100 television shows. I have a peculiar and almost irresistable desire to make cheese. I got a start-up cable television network on the air, on time and under budget. I interviewed Frank Zappa. I believe in God but have a hard time defining what God is. I was an investigative reporter. I was a television critic. I've established branding guidelines, mapped business processes and broken whole companies down into manageable job descriptions and lines of accountability. I play golf and volleyball, though I'm not particularly good at either. I was on the team that brought to market a life-saving genetic test. When I went into advertising, I landed my first account pitch. I manned the information center at the Museum of Contemporary Art. I got a show into production at 20th Century-Fox in Hollywood without making a pilot. I named a barbecue sauce. I've won both local and national creative awards. I shot a documentary in Russia. If I had it to do over again, I'd study architecture. I consulted on multimedia rights for NCAA sports. I've arranged the translation of English-language television shows into Spanish. My favorite band is Canadian and sings about being middle aged and crabby. I'm middle-aged and crabby. I've met with the Secretary of Defense in his office in the Pentagon. The largest financial model I ever built was 300 pages. I've leased office space, chosen a phone system and fired people with ruthless efficiency. I've also been fired with ruthless efficiency. I hold an advanced certification in wine. I've appeared on national television once, and I was dressed in drag. I am literate in copyright, human resources and bankruptcy law. I am still married to my first wife, and we have children. I never feel better than when I'm half asleep in the hammock in the back yard, listening to a far off baseball game on the radio and swinging gently in the summer breeze. I wish I had more time for serious reading. My career goal is to make enough money that I can afford to work for the minimum wage, doing something I should have done when I was young. I yearn to own a large piece of property that I can slowly explore, discover and let go to seed.