One-in-Four Americans...

...support the use of nuclear weapons against terrorists, according to Gallup.  That's shocking unless you consider the following:

One-in-four Americans blame Jews for the death of Christ, while one-in-four Americans distrust Moslems and one-in-four Americans holds strongly negative views about Asians.

Furthermore, one-in-four Americans describe themselves as "anxious" about the environment.

One-in-four Americans avoid going to the doctor because it costs so much.  Hopefully, that's not the same one-in-four Americans who will, over the course of their lifetimes, contract venereal disease.  Or the one-in-four Americans who experience joint pain regularly.

One-in-four Americans follow national news closely, which is probably why one-in-four Americans don't get enough sleep.  A lack of sleep, we all know, makes us crabby, which is why one-in-four Americans have considered murdering someone they know.  In fact, one-in-four Americans claims to have been threatened by someone with a gun.  To cure this stress, one-in-four Americans used an online travel site to plan a vacation.

Not surprisingly, one-in-four Americans feel social pressure to take a more expensive vacation than they can afford. 

One-in-four Americans believes -- mistakenly -- that Mad Cow disease has infected people in the U.S.

One-in-four Americans think the federal government should help the states with the cost of Head Start, but the same one-in-four Americans do nothing with their pennies but put them in containers.

One-in-four Americans think Billy Crystal is the best Oscar host.  One-in-four Americans indulge in binge drinking, which is defined as "drinking to get drunk."  Surely those were not the same one-in-four Americans who have served as either a designated driver or, in boats, a designated skipper.  One-in-four Americans get little or no physical activity.

And, finally, one-in-four Americans escape to the bathroom to hide from their children. 

One-in-four Americans will believe, say, do or try just about anything.

Comments

[graig]

Officially yes, no one in the USA has contacted Mad Cow related diseases, however a "non-outbreak" of Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease at a racetrack in New Jersey suspiciously proves otherwise, despite what the influence peddling cattle-ranchers would have you believe (if they can silence Oprah, they've got power).

http://tinyurl.com/2fwjb

[Jonathan Dresner]

Brilliantly done: a triumph of hyperlink poetics.