Selling His Soul: A Cub Fan Throws in the Towel

On eBay right now, there's a lifelong Cub fan who's sufficiently disgusted with the team that he's selling his "Cub Fandom." 

I'm 40 years old and have been a Chicago Cubs fan since I could say the word "baseball." Well, I've had enough pain. Enough losses. Enough "Wait till next year." It's time for a new team -- but which one? I'll let you decide that. The winning bidder gets to determine which team I root for from here on out. My promise to you is that whatever I take in on the high bid I will spend on fan-ish paraphrenalia for the team you select. Yes, even if it is the Cardinals.

The seller, who goes by the name "TheSchnays," has 98.8% positive feedback after more than ten eBay transaction, none of which seems to have involved intangibles such as as emotional attachment to a sports franchise. He will send a photo of himself rooting for the new team to the person who buys his fandom, as proof that he would rather switch than fight.

I'm a lifelong Cub fan who, like TheSchnays, has just about had it with the team.  Last year's collapse and the previous year's playoff disaster have been as much as I can bear. 

My wife and I were invited by the team to buy tickets to a game this summer.  We're not rich enough to afford season tickets -- we also live 250 miles away -- but the team's marketing department keeps people like us on file to sell the odd seats that are left over after the corporate buyers finish filling out their expense reports.  We got an email from the team, explaining that a "limited number" of tickets were available and that we had to reply within 48 hours to be eligible.  The tickets were $125 each.  With parking for the car, hot dogs for the kids, and a couple of dozen cans of Old Style to keep dad from weeping aloud, that means three hours at Wrigley Field for my family of four is going to cost something like $650.

I used to get into Cubs games for six bucks, and at that rate the team didn't have to win a lot.  The breeze off the lake and the green of the ivy was enough of a payback.  But if I'm going to pay $125 a seat, I'm going to see a team in the running for the whole enchilada, not a team of loveable losers.

I spent this winter looking for a sign that Cub management had the will to win.  What I got was a long, dreary winter's wait.  The Cubs sat idle while division rivals St. Louis and Houston opened their wallets to bring in key free agents.  Worse than that, the Cubs let three of their best players get away: Outfielders Sammy Sosa and Moises Alou, and pitcher Matt Clement.

On opening day this year, the team is arguably worse than the team that fizzled last year.  The Cubs don't have a legit lead-off man, forcing natural #3 hitter Corey Patterson into the lead-off spot, where his 25 home runs a year will be wasted flying over empty bases.  They don't have a closer that can close, a situation so dire that there was talk of elevating journeyman Ryan Dempster to the most important of pitching roles.  Their one big splurge was re-signing Nomar Garciapara, who went down yesterday with an injury.  He'll be out 2-3 months.  In his place, scrubini Neiffi Perez will hit .220 with no power.

I admire TheSchnays originality in trying to sell his Cub Fandom.  I don't think the bidding is going to go much higher than the $16.51 it's already reached, so he's going to end up selling what has long been precious to him for scrap value.  That's because it's a buyer's market out there, with too many sellers chasing too few buyers. If you were just starting out, would you invest in the Cubs?  Of course not.  No sane person would.

So those of us who have been Cub fans all our lives are left to accept pennies on the dollar for our investment.  The bastards.

From The Island of Balta.

UPDATE: Matt Clement, not Mark Prior.  Boy, am I stupid.

Comments

[Pursuit]

As I said on my blog, the cubs are dead to me. It has really been a remarkable experience. I truly just don't care anymore. I had the radio on this afternoon, and the news said that Nomar is out for a bit.

Nothing. I felt absolutely nothing. It was great!

I've adopted the Yanks, and while we've had a bit of a tough start, I'm sure the boys will get it together soon and be competitive into the playoffs, if not, I'm even more sure that the Boss will see that next year is better.

You don't have to go as far as I have, but really, think about walking away.

[wanebell]

Matt Clement, not Mark Prior.

'Course, that was a pretty big loss as well.

Maybe you should check out the Twins. I started following them again about 10 years ago. They still play ball the way it should be played. Defense, pitching and hitting it where they ain't.

No money, no franchise players, (well, except for Santana), but they still win. Yeah, I know, it's the AL Central, but still it's a win.

[Mimus Pauly]

I'm a lifelong Red Sox fan. Last year, the Sox utterly humilited the Yankees in the AL playoffs and went on to sweep the Cardinals to win their first World Series since World War One. In the realm of pro sports, my life is complete.

I advise all Cubs fans to stick with the Cubs. And all recently ex-Cubs fans, too. You folks know futility, but you don't know shit about agony, especially when it involves defeat. Hang in there. If the Red Sox can do it, the Cubs can, too...

[Pursuit]

Pauly,

Being a Red Sox fan, you really don't know the special hell that cubs fans wallow in. Your experience was painful, but you guys at least had chances. Fate, for whatever reason wasn't on your side, but damn if your team didn't work hard to overcome it.

What Tom describes is a special sort of incompetence that in many ways is historically unrivaled. The cubs haven't won in almost one hundred years, and they only got to that series based on a bad call in the playoffs. The haven't even been in the series in almost sixty years. It is a tale of, arguably, intentional mismanagement and abuse of fan loyalty for which even tortuous death is not a sufficient punishment.

Following the Yanks so far has been great. By the way, our boys will crush you this year! (See how easy it is to switch?)