Taking the NewMexiKen Challenge

While I don't normally go for those bloglist sort of things, my best blogbuddy NewMexiKen challenged me to participate in one of those "books on a desert island" things.  People routinely use these things to demonstrate how literate they are, and then they slink of to the bathroom with their US Magazine to read about naked pictures of the Desperate Housewives stars.

Anyway, because I love NewMexiKen so much I'm actually thinking of moving to his yard, I thought I'd go ahead and fill in the blanks. 

You’re stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be?
Class by Paul Fussell. It’s everything I want to be: Smart, snotty and wickedly funny.  So far, I've got the snotty part down.

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
Every character Lauren Bacall ever played.

What are you currently reading?
Baseball Philosophy: Thinking Outside the Batter’s Box edited by Eric Bronson. My favorite sport as exemplar of complicated philosophical principles. The book is every bit as boring as baseball, which isn’t, if you ask me.

The last book you bought is:
Baseball and Philosophy: Thinking Outside the Batter’s Box edited by Eric Bronson.  $17.95 trade paperback.

The last book you read:
Thin Air by Robert B. Parker. It’s one of Parker’s “Spenser” novels, about a Boston  private-i with no first (or maybe it’s last) name. Spenser is in many ways a typical private-i: He’s a tough-guy with a heart of gold who does what’s right even when he doesn’t really understand it. He’s different, though, too. He quotes dead poets and is monogamous and sautees a mean chicken breast. The Spenser books also feature the best tough-guy sidekick ever: Hawk, a giant, bald, studly soldier of fortune who slips silently in and out of scenes the way sharks slip beneath moonlit waves.

Five books you would take to a deserted island:

Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole – I’ve tried three times to read it and always get distracted, which I guess doesn't say much for the book.  Except that everyone keeps telling me how good it is, so I keep trying. They’re making a movie out of it now, so getting marooned may be my last chance.

The New Oxford Annotated NRSV Bible with the Apocrypha, Third Edition – The Bible is, of course, the collected founding documents of Western Civilization, and The Apocrypha are the parts the church cut out back in the day. This version puts them all together in one place, which would allow me – on my desert island – to solve the mysteries of theology that the world has struggled with for the last 2,000 years.

The History of Mathematics by Carl Boyer. I have this book. It's hard reading because it explains the principles behind the math, and then fits those principles into the larger cultural evolution. Reading it would consume days like nothing else.  I could draw complicated equations in the sand and watch the waves wash them away.  By the time I was rescued I would understand the basic language of the Universe.

Collected Works of Shakespeare – For all the reasons NewMexiKen cited, plus this stunning admission: I’ve never read Romeo and Juliet. And I was an English major, apparently at a substandard university.

Personal Memoirs: Ulysses S. Grant. A long time ago, when I was in charge of production for a start-up cable television network, I hunted down a 19^th Century edition of Grant’s memoirs to give as a thank you gift to a producer. The producer had come into town on short notice to help us edit the more than 400 show and channel promos we would need to get on the air, and he worked night and day to get the job done. He was a Civil War buff and the gift brought tears to his eyes. It was the best gift I ever gave and the producer, who eventually came to work for me full time, turned out to be an absolute shit: Corrupt, disloyal, self-serving and a dick to boot. Which just goes to show: You can never tell. Anyway, to this day I wish I’d kept the two-volume set and given the producer a coffee mug or something.  I'd still like to read it, but have never found the time.

Also, along with these books, I would take with me three cases of Blanton's bourbon and a glass.

Comments

[jessimica]

Forget Confederacy of Dunces...read it, because I thought the title looked interesting. Can't stand any character in the entire book.

[Wally]

Teej,
Don't waste time with "Confederacy of Dunces'. After reading it I told Victoria if she ever said it was a great book in my presence again, I would leave her. Admittedly, she remembers that she read it but no longer remembers anything about it , except that everybody says "It's a great book"
Should you decide you need novel-length inanity, call me on your free nights and weekends and you can get this kind of drivel for free.

[Mrs. A]

Substandard university? I think not. Substandard junior high school perhaps.

[Pursuit]

Tom,

I can't believe I finally found someone else who read "Class". One of the best books I ever read, it really should be required reading for every American. Fussel captures every socioeconomic class perfectly and delivers the dagger with lethal accuracy. A beautiful book.

Have to disagree with you guys on Confederacy, it is a fantastic book, that reveals itself on multiple levels, while creating rich, memorable characters. Then again, what do I know.