Admirable Stockdale

Admiral James Stockdale died yesterday.  Stockdale, who was reduced to a national punchline when thrust into the unfamiliar limelight as Ross Perot's Vice Presidential candidate, was a great man.  He should not be remembered for his befuddled performance in a meaningless Vice Presidential debate, because he was anything but befuddled and his life was anything but meaningless.

I met and spent time with Stockdale and his wonderful wife, Sybil, a few years ago.  I was making military and historical documentaries back then, and Stockdale was both subject and adviser.  I interviewed him, spent a delightful afternoon sipping iced tea in his beautiful Coronado Island home, and sat across the table from him in a half-dozen business meetings. 

Stockdale was a fighter pilot, an intellectual and a student of history.  He endured incredible torture at the hands of his North Vietnamese captors, ideology-driven automatons who were bereft of human empathy.  He understood himself and others and believed more keenly in the strength and goodness of people than just about anyone I have ever met.  He was a Stoic, literally.  He studied the Stoic philosophers and adopted their beliefs into his own life. 

Among the American POWs in Hoa Loa Prison, he was the unquestioned leader.  In a world where rank his its privileges, he accepted only that rank has its responsibilities.  His moral authority came from his willingness to endure what he did not expect his men to endure.  This (scroll down) from his Medal of Honor citation:

Recognized by his captors as the leader in the Prisoners of War resistance to interrogation and in their refusal to participate in propaganda exploitation, Rear Adm. Stockdale was singled out for interrogation and attendant torture after he was detected in a covert communications attempt. Sensing the start of another purge, and aware that his earlier efforts at self-disfiguration to dissuade his captors from exploiting him for propaganda purposes had resulted in cruel and agonizing punishment, Rear Adm. Stockdale resolved to make himself a symbol of resistance regardless of personal sacrifice.  He deliberately inflicted a near-mortal wound to his person in order to convince his captors of his willingness to give up his life rather than capitulate. He was subsequently discovered and revived by the North Vietnamese who, convinced of his indomitable spirit, abated in their employment of excessive harassment and torture toward all of the Prisoners of War.

As Stockdale held the POWs together in Vietnam, Sybil held the POW families together stateside. She organized and lobbied and showed strength that, on occasion, she surely must not have felt.  And when that nightmarish part of their lives was over, they resumed their love affair, strengthened by what most people and marriages could not have survived.

Stockdale earned 26 combat awards, including two Distinguished Flying Crosses, three Distinguished Service Medals, two Purple Hearts and four Silver Stars. He was a member of the Carrier Hall of Fame and the National Aviation Hall of Fame and an honorary fellow of the almost impossibly elite Society of Experimental Test Pilots.

When I met him, I was traveling with as cynical and self indulgent a bunch of TV hacks as has ever walked the face of the Earth.  Nothing impressed us.  Nothing mattered to us.  Most things weren't even mildly interesting to us, with the possible exception of getting whatever we were being paid to do over with and hitting the hotel bar. 

We lingered with Stockdale, not wanting to wrap and go home.  The Admiral indulged us politely, explaining Seneca and -- in particular -- Epictetus, relating it the modern world and the travails each of us face in day-to-day life.  Travails, it's worth repeating, that are not a fraction of the torture he endured, but seldom talked about. 

Sybil sat next to him, when she wasn't refilling our glasses or making sure we didn't go more than a few minutes without snacks.  She had her own stories to tell, of secret communications with her husband, communications frowned on by her government but critical to the tiny community of POW families. She told her stories well, and when they looked at each other across decades of love and respect and mutual support, there was something in their eyes that each of us wanted to have in our own lives.

It's safe to say our contact with Admiral Stockdale and his wife changed all of us.  There is no telling how many other lives he -- and they -- had a similar effect on.

Comments

[Dave]

To a fine man from a fine man a wonderful eulogy!

[Charlie Gordon]

That is a touching tribute to a great man.

The real shame is that many great men have been made a laughing stock to the public because of one or two poor performances on television, but when you really get to know them you realize there is so much more to the man then a 30 second spot between stupid human tricks and the recipe of the week.

[NewMexiKen]

Well done. Thanks.

[Charlie Gordon]

That is a touching tribute to a great man.

The real shame is that many great men have been made a laughing stock to the public because of one or two poor performances on television, but when you really get to know them you realize there is so much more to the man then a 30 second spot between stupid human tricks and the recipe of the week.

[John Carmichael]

Well said! Admiral Stockdale was an inspriration to many of us. I was speaking with my father this evening (also a retired Admiral) who knew and flew with Admiral Stockdale, it was a great reminisant conversation about character and quality. James Bond... will be missed, but we were blessed to have him!

-JC