Or He Could Spend His Afternoons Napping

Senator Arlen Specter is meddling in pro football, demanding the formation of a commission to investigate -- this is almost to stupid to write out loud -- videotaping by one team of the activities of another team.

While this videotaping is sometimes referred to in the media as "illegal," it is in fact merely a violation of the rules of professional football. Violating the rules of professional football is not a crime, as is evidenced by the fact that offensive linemen are not sent to jail when they tackle the blitzing linebacker. Thus, the rules of professional football are not, technically, within the purview of the United States Senate.

Alas, Senator Specter recognizes no limits to his wisdom or authority, so he's pissing away taxpayer dollars interfering with a private association of adults who have done nothing even close to illegal.

Clearly, Senator Specter doesn't have enough to do. So, as a public service, I have assembled a list of things Senator Specter could be doing with his time that would be more valuable than worrying about professional football.

1. Playing quarters in a nearby bar
2. Getting a mohawk
3. investigating whether the underside of his desk has any gum stuck to it
4. Blowing bubbles
5. Giving Harry Reid charisma lessons
6. Figuring a way out of the war

This is not, I understand, an extensive list, nor are the activities on the list particularly productive -- except, you know, the war one. Still, if Senator Specter were indulging in the listed activities he would at least be less bothersome.

The NFL, in response to Senator Specter's meddling, should tell the Senator to go pound sand. They won't, but they should.

Comments

[PhoenixRising]

From what orifice? On the fourth item, I mean...