FunctionalAmbivalent

Jesus That Goes Crunch

Beliefnet reports a sudden outbreak of Cheetos shaped like Jesus, not surprisingly in the completely sane state of Texas.

I Don't Know How, I Don't Know When, but This Is Going To Come Back and Bite Us

The House of Representatives, in exactly the kind of populist fever the Founders imagined when they put limits on government behavior, have voted in favor of a punitive tax on people they don't like -- in this case, employees of AIG's Financial Products division. The goal: take away the money of a tiny group of people -- fewer than 500 -- so that they can stand in front of television cameras and prove they're tough.

This is the kind of silliness I expect from Democrats, but the fact that 85 Republicans in the house joined in bodes poorly for the future. That these are the same Republicans who, every time the Democrats want to talk about limiting executive pay, howl bloody murder about free markets and the sanctity of private contracts makes me think Congress has been invaded by body snatchers.

I haven't seen any polls yet, but I'm sure this will turn out to be highly popular, just like the Patriot Act or the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution.

Some time in the future Congress will find another class of people it doesn't like -- some other tiny group inspiring public outrage -- and relying on precedent and doing what the mob demands, Congress will pass a law reaching back through time to rob them of money they've legally -- if not quite deservedly -- earned.

We need to stop giving these people power. Haven't we realized that when we do that, they end up using it?

Activism

A petition on Facebook to get pole dancing named as an Olympic sport.

Making It Up As They Go Along

Chris Matthews just referred to "wordage." What the hell is "wordage"?

I'm a Rebel

Today, just to show nature what's what, I went out into the world wearing shoes with no socks, as if it were Summer.

Nature ain't so tough...

You're Going To Want To Get Pictures

It's the first year since 2009 BC in which the first and last digits of the year add up to a two digit prime number: 11. This won't happen again for another 999 years.

I'm Never Talking To Anyone On the Phone Again

Nokia does research:
53 percent of those quizzed by Nokia admitted taking a work related phone call or reading an email while on the toilet.

In Which Richard Branson Goes Creepy

Virgin Galactic founder Richard Branson has unveiled the aircraft he's going to use to start the world's first space tourism business. It features decoration reminiscent of the sexy nose art prevalent on World War II bombers, with an unsettling twist: the large-breasted, arch-backed vixen on Branson's plane is his mother.

Ewwww....

Vibrating Razor, Day Two: Civilization Comes To a Close

I used my fancy-pants vibrating razor again. I find it disorienting. It slides over my face without cutting me. It makes my fingers tingle. It leads me to conclude, seriously, that we're finished as a society. Between this and heated car seats, I don't see how we're going to survive. Also Double-Stuff Oreos and the designated hitter. We're growing weak and pitiful.

Could this be why the terrorists hate us? It certainly making me hate myself.

Not All Manifestations of Capitalism Are Attractive

As the price of homes continues to fall and the price of basic commodities continues to rise, police are noticing an interesting phenomenon: Scavengers are ravaging abandoned properties, stripping them of everything of value and leaving behind nothing but the drywall and studs.

Real estate brokers and local authorities say once-proud homes coast-to-coast are being stripped for copper, aluminum, and brass by thieves. Much of it ends up with scrap metal traders who say nearly all copper gets shipped overseas, much of it to China and India.

Which is all well and good, but what's most amazing is that there are places where home prices have fallen so far that the scavengers are actually buying the houses and stripping them for legal profit.

In areas hit hardest by foreclosures, such as the Slavic Village neighborhood of Cleveland, Ohio, copper and other metals used in plumbing, heating systems and telephone lines are now more valuable than some homes.
...
"We're seeing houses sold for $100 that are distressed houses that should not be recycled," he said. Some boarded-up homes in his Slavic Village community have "No copper, only PVC" painted on the boards to stop would-be thieves.

Scavengers are also attracted to houses with easily removed window air conditioners and garbage disposals.