Greg Miller of Boston is making good money manufacturing prosthetic dog testicles under the brand name "Neuticles." They're sold to pet owners who have their dogs neutered, but don't want their dog to be embarrassed when they show up at the dog park one day with no balls.
"Hey, Fido. What happened to your balls?"
"I really don't want to talk about it."
Artificial dog balls are apparently a hot commodity.
Miller has sold more than 150,000 of his Neuticles, more than doubling his $500,000 investment. The silicone implants come in different sizes, shapes, weights and degrees of firmness.
"Degrees of firmness"? Are there really people out there who care how their dog's balls feel?
Loving pet owners are less 'neuter-hesitant' and their pet is unaware that he has, in fact, been altered. With Neuticles- its like nothing ever changed.
Soon, I'm sure, insecure owners will ask:
"Hey, doc. As long as we're giving Rover new balls, can you make them really, really big? You know, like conversation pieces for meeting girls in the park."
Neuticles range in price from $73 for a pair of teeny cat balls to $549 for the rugged, 5.75" bull reconstruction kit.
I'm told that he originally offered flavored varieties, too.
Posted by: zonker | 10/07/2005 at 11:21 PM