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We here at Hamshahri newspaper already have a winner.

How do you like that, you stupid infidels?

And the riots and embassy burnings in Tel Aviv tonight prove you are no better than us.

. . . what's that? No riots?


The devious sons of pigs and monkeys have outwitted us again.

Your depiction Islam as a violent religion is a blasphemous lie. You leave us no choice but to burn down your embassies and kill you.

Listen, jihadis, I appreciate the effort and all, but you're blowing this whole 'forbidden to depict the Prophet' thing way out of proportion.

You see, how that came about is this -- I'd just had this really bad license photo taken at the DMV after standing in line for at least two freaking hours. You know how it is. So, that night, while I was working on the Koran, it came to me -- if images of the Prophet are forbidden, then I don't have to deal with that shit ever again. So I said "fuck it" and stuck it in there.

I sure as hell wasn't advocating a clash of civilizations or that anyone start torching buildings . . . unless you want to toss a Molotov at the DMV.

Jeez Conrad, you're such a clever bigot. Do you still like to have your prostitutes shit all over you?

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