Those Bastards In Manitoba Are At It Again

For some people, even too much isn't enough. 

Take, for example, the world's largest curling stone.  For fifty years, the largest curling stone in the world -- and, I think it's safe to say, the entire universe -- has been located in Thunder Bay, Ontario.  The Lakehead Rock, as it is known, was built in 1960 as part of the celebration of the Brier Cup, a curling championship that seemed like a big deal at the time.

Ever since then, when people anywhere talked about "the world's largest curling stone,"everyone knew they were talking about Thunder Bay.  It became part of Thunder Bay's identity.  Carved out of granite in perfect proportion to a normal-sized curling stone, the Lakehead Rock measured more than enough: 2.6 meteres in diameter and is 1.3 meters tall.  As Thunder Bay booster and all-around good egg  Morris Stoyka, 73, put it:

"It's known all over Canada."

No doubt.

The natural order of the Canadian universe has been disrupted, however.  A new world's largest curling stone, measuring 4.2 meters across and 2.1 meters tall, has stolen Thunder Bay's thunder.  It was unveiled a week ago in Arborg, Manitoba, as part of a Manitobian (Manitobish?) scheme to corner the market on world's largest things. 

The idea-man behind the Arborg Rock has big dreams for his big rock.

The idea, first hatched by former Arborg resident Harold Einarsson and presented to Arborg council last year, was to not only honour those past curling champions but to add to tourism’s “things to see” in Arborg.

It's safe to say that Arborg, with a population of 957 Canadians, is a little light on "things to see, so the Arborg Rock is no doubt a significant thing.  It's more significant because the rock is controversial among big curling stone afficianadoes.  Unlike the Lakehead Rock, the Arborg Rock is not actually made out of stone.  It's made of steel, foam and fiberglass, which one Thunder Bay loyalist calls "an afront to granite."

Manitoba has done this kind of thing before.  For reasons not easily understood, Manitoba is the home of several world's largest things, all of which seem to have been consturcted with tourism in mind.  The world's largest painting on an easel, the world's largest sharptail grouse, and world's largest sturgeon are all to be found in Manitoba.  The profusion of extremely large things in what would otherwise be a bleak tundra does not seem to have worked wonders on the province's tourist trade.  Not even the world's largest smoking pipe in St. Claude seems to have broken through the public consciousness, and the world's largest underwear looks merely uncomfortable and reminds me of something my wife wore when she was way, way pregnant.  As for tourism potential, I'm not sure I'd pack my family into the minivan and haul them up to Manitoba to have their pictures taken in front of a pair of giant cement underpants.

Perhaps the world's largest curling stone will get the job done.  Perhaps people will flock to Manitoba to marvel and pose and buy memntos of something that looks like a septic tank with a handle.  Or, perhaps, it will take the world's largest mosquito, which is causing quite a buzz.

Probably not.  Instead, tourists will go to Alberta to see the world's largest beaver and thank God that, despite rumors, it has nothing to do with Roseanne Barr.

Comments

[graig]

I lived in TBay for 22 years and a) I didn't know that rock was called the "Lakehead Rock" and b) that it was until recently the largest curling stone in the world.
Sigh, what passes for news and tourism there...