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I'd rather be known as unstable and stupid than drunk and sluttish.

They're not mutually exclusive you know. A fact demonstrated by a number of the women I've dated.

I learned many of these lessons at a very young age. One of my coworkers decided that being drunk at a Christmas party was the perfect time to demonstrate to the entire company that, yes, farts are mostly methane and very much combustible. The ensuing ball of flame became instant legend, and something to talk about every year following, along with, "I wonder how Brad is making it at the new job?"

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