FunctionalAmbivalent

Recession's Upside

As a cost-cutting measure, Disneyland/World/Universe has "re-assigned" it's boob monitors.

Related, moderately horrible imagery here.

Big Whup

There are people on the right claiming that President Obama showed weakness in the weekend stand-off with Somali pirates, and people on the left who are hyperventilating over President Obama's inspiring leadership.

The vanquished foe was four emaciated thugs in a lifeboat. We stalled around for a few days while we got our forces in place, waited for an opportune moment and, when presented with that moment, killed the pirates with admirable efficiency. It is the kind of dirty business governments need to do every now and then, and that it was well done speaks more to the professionalism of -- in this case -- Navy SEALs than it does to whether President Obama is fit for office or not.

As for President Obama, this indicates nothing.

How Americans Are Different From the Taliban

Some Detroit Catholics are angry that the TIgers are playing baseball on Good Friday, in particular during the hours when Christ is believed to have hung on the cross. While there are those who complain that the scheduling is an insult to all Catholics, no one is calling for laws to ban baseball during significant religious periods. No one is blowing anything up. The Catholics most affected -- those who will miss Opening Day in order to attend services -- plan on being at the ballpark the next day.

I'm guessing they'll make afew bucks selling their Opening Day tickets, too.

Grocery Store Observation

When you go to Kroger at 6 PM on Saturday during the summer, the store is filled with people hurrying home after a day of activity. They're glowing from the sun, dressed in bathing suits and sportswear.

When you go to Kroger at 6 PM on Saturday in January, it's packed with people who can't get dates: homely, sullen, with no particular reason not to stretch shopping out into a three hour ordeal.

It Seems So Obvious That I Haven't Written About It, But Now a Few Days Later Niether Has Anyone Else, So Maybe It's Not So Obvious After All

The guy who threw his shoes at President Bush? He's Iraq's Joe the Plumber.

In a World Gone Mad, a Singular Act of Sanity

A man singing karaoke is killed after he refuses to stop.

From the Forums on Sean Hannity's Website

It's 19 Degrees Outside

84 days until pitchers and catcher report.

You Could Take That a Couple of Ways

The Secret Service code name for Todd Palin was "Driller."

Relevant Definition

so⋅cial⋅ism [soh-shuh-liz-uhm] –noun

1. a theory or system of social organization that advocates the vesting of the ownership and control of the means of production and distribution, of capital, land, etc., in the community as a whole.

2. procedure or practice in accordance with this theory.

3. (in Marxist theory) the stage following capitalism in the transition of a society to communism, characterized by the imperfect implementation of collectivist principles.